Dutgonbum is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, smart cat.

Dutgonbum created everything that exists eight million years ago.

If you believe in Dutgonbum, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dutgonbum, she will try to impress you with trees.

Dutgonbum's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Dutgonbum's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear boots.

2. Always help sick tapirs.

3. Put Dutgonbum first in all things.

4. Always make sure there are no geese in a building before entering it.

5. Never eat bark.