Wonxuckpan is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, sage crow.

Wonxuckpan created a strange quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Wonxuckpan, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Wonxuckpan, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Wonxuckpan's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Wonxuckpan's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Wonxuckpan's priests.

2. Erect a large silver sculpture of Wonxuckpan on top of all buildings.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Always wear orange.

5. Always look after injured tapirs.