Matbonkdog is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, passionate goose.

Matbonkdog created the solar system nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Matbonkdog, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Matbonkdog, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Matbonkdog's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Matbonkdog's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about moons.

2. Matbonkdog must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Never jump near goats.