Lopcapwapquathud is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonest snake.

Lopcapwapquathud created the cosmos two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopcapwapquathud, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lopcapwapquathud, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Lopcapwapquathud's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Lopcapwapquathud's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lopcapwapquathud.

3. Never eat limes.

4. Never look at black holes.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.