Tifquagfut is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humane slug.

Tifquagfut created time and space two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifquagfut, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tifquagfut, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Tifquagfut's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Tifquagfut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Tifquagfut loves badgers, so they must be honoured.

3. Never write about asteroids.

4. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.