Dagzogvan is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, confident rat.

Dagzogvan created a bottom quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dagzogvan, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dagzogvan, she will be mildly annoyed.

Dagzogvan's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Dagzogvan's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always help sick turtles.

3. Always look after injured great tits.

4. Never mention seals.

5. You must love Dagzogvan.