Paktipjap is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, deceitful sheep.

Paktipjap created time and space eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Paktipjap, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Paktipjap, it will think nothing of it.

Paktipjap's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Paktipjap's Holy Commandments

1. Seals are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.