Sakpadzod is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unsympathetic crab.

Sakpadzod created matter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sakpadzod, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sakpadzod, she will turn you into a mole.

Sakpadzod's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Sakpadzod's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not eat oranges.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Run away from brown dogs, for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about frogs.