Timwitben is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, effective hippopotamus.

Timwitben created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Timwitben, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Timwitben, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Timwitben's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Timwitben's Holy Commandments

1. Timwitben must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not take Timwitben's name in vain.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.