Habzagshav is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, fussy elephant.

Habzagshav created the Sombrero Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Habzagshav, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Habzagshav, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Habzagshav's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Habzagshav's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Habzagshav.

3. Do not speak about gooseberries.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not eat cherries.