Canyarpcam is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ruthless wolf.

Canyarpcam created humanity six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Canyarpcam, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Canyarpcam, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Canyarpcam's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Canyarpcam's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Never eat peanuts.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Canyarpcam.