Tafyaryat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, unsympathetic ferret.

Tafyaryat created viruses six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tafyaryat, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tafyaryat, it will torture you forever.

Tafyaryat's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Tafyaryat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Do not take Tafyaryat's name in vain.

3. Do not hurt manatees.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

5. Tafyaryat must be the most important thing in your life.