Flanbadham is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, overgenerous swan.

Flanbadham created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flanbadham, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flanbadham, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Flanbadham's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Flanbadham's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never mention eagles.