Janditvagtof is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, temperamental clam.

Janditvagtof created the Sun five billion years ago.

If you believe in Janditvagtof, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Janditvagtof, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Janditvagtof's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Janditvagtof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never talk about snakes.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Janditvagtof on top of all buildings.