Nellpomlig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, uncaring tortoise.

Nellpomlig created oxygen two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nellpomlig, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nellpomlig, he will turn you into a snail.

Nellpomlig's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Nellpomlig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about frogs.

2. You must pray to Nellpomlig six times a day.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never feed cherries to manatees while wearing orange shorts.