Tifpodbab is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid dryad.

Tifpodbab created humankind four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tifpodbab, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tifpodbab, he will be very unhappy.

Tifpodbab's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Tifpodbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick whales.

2. Tifpodbab loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.