Bifcamnul is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, thoughtless gnu.

Bifcamnul created the cosmos six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifcamnul, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bifcamnul, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Bifcamnul's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Bifcamnul's Holy Commandments

1. Bifcamnul loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Bifcamnul loves shrews, so they must be respected.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.