Arprotquam is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, deceitful squirrel.

Arprotquam created parasitic wasps four million years ago.

If you believe in Arprotquam, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Arprotquam, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Arprotquam's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Arprotquam's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always help sharks.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not drink alcohol.