Bodhitkopbell is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical pig.

Bodhitkopbell created the Black Eye Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bodhitkopbell, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bodhitkopbell, she will cry a lot.

Bodhitkopbell's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Bodhitkopbell's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always look after injured monkeys.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never eat carrots.

5. Retreat if five snakes approach from the east.