Hattailrull is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, bad-tempered spider.

Hattailrull created the cosmos seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hattailrull, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hattailrull, she will not care.

Hattailrull's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Hattailrull's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about apples.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.

3. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

4. Never wear mauve stockings.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.