Zagsidkadtab is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unthoughtful spider.

Zagsidkadtab created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Zagsidkadtab, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zagsidkadtab, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Zagsidkadtab's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Zagsidkadtab's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zagsidkadtab.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never hurt mites.

5. Never play with disobedient children.