Hakfligquam is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, bad-tempered bird.

Hakfligquam created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Hakfligquam, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hakfligquam, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Hakfligquam's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Hakfligquam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help swans in need.

2. Do not dye your hair mauve.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.