Kondavdab is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, impressive squirrel.

Kondavdab created a top quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kondavdab, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kondavdab, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Kondavdab's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Kondavdab's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kondavdab.

2. Run away from green birds, for they are unholy.

3. Retreat if nine grasshopers approach from the west.

4. Always treat foxes with great respect.

5. Do not commit murder.