Fatrullapbep is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, clever coyote.

Fatrullapbep created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fatrullapbep, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Fatrullapbep, he will cry a lot.

Fatrullapbep's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Fatrullapbep's Holy Commandments

1. Put Fatrullapbep first in all things.

2. Erect six lead sculptures of Fatrullapbep on top of important buildings.

3. Fatrullapbep loves horses, so they must be respected.

4. Never think ill of sick goats.

5. Do not eat corn.