Catartjantab is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, witty camel.

Catartjantab created parasitic wasps six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Catartjantab, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Catartjantab, he will turn you into a hamster.

Catartjantab's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Catartjantab's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Catartjantab must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Hide from red eagles for they are unholy.