Canhoggab is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, quiet gerbil.

Canhoggab created Mount Everest four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Canhoggab, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Canhoggab, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Canhoggab's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Canhoggab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about corn.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Canhoggab loves snails, so they must be honoured.

4. Always look after injured capybaras.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.