Quillhamgep is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, emotional scorpion.

Quillhamgep created matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quillhamgep, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Quillhamgep, it will not care at all.

Quillhamgep's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Quillhamgep's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick porpoises.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never mention nematodes.

5. Always help horses.