Narlcussflab is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, awe-inspiring shrew.

Narlcussflab created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlcussflab, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Narlcussflab, she will turn you into a dog.

Narlcussflab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Narlcussflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always treat pigs with great respect.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.