Ortstafspagbimlarnmangon is a god.

She takes the form of a small, all-knowing weasel.

Ortstafspagbimlarnmangon created the planet Saturn nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortstafspagbimlarnmangon, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Ortstafspagbimlarnmangon, she will turn you into a mouse.

Ortstafspagbimlarnmangon's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Ortstafspagbimlarnmangon's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. You must love Ortstafspagbimlarnmangon.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ortstafspagbimlarnmangon.