Vagwabved is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, witty grasshopper.

Vagwabved created the Andromeda Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagwabved, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vagwabved, it will turn you into a rock.

Vagwabved's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Vagwabved's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt moths.

2. Put Vagwabved first in all things.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not speak about pineapples.