Vandaptal is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, kind naga.

Vandaptal created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vandaptal, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vandaptal, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Vandaptal's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Vandaptal's Holy Commandments

1. Put Vandaptal first in all things.

2. Do not wear nickel on your body.

3. Always help sick great tits.

4. Vandaptal loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

5. Never feed oranges to bats while wearing blue dresses.