Podrildav is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, ill-tempered rat.

Podrildav created Africa eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Podrildav, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Podrildav, she will turn you into a sheep.

Podrildav's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Podrildav's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Run away from yellow porpoises, for they are unholy.

4. Put Podrildav first in all things.

5. Do not eat bananas.