Camgessflam is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, caring newt.

Camgessflam created the cosmos four billion years ago.

If you believe in Camgessflam, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Camgessflam, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Camgessflam's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Camgessflam's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Do not eat cherries.

4. Feed all hungry monkeys.

5. Never eat parsnips.