Cumomtnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, ruthless wren.

Cumomtnurt created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cumomtnurt, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cumomtnurt, it will turn you into a plant.

Cumomtnurt's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Cumomtnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

4. Never paint your face turquoise.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.