Metomindam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, bad-tempered cat.

Metomindam created an electron nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metomindam, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Metomindam, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Metomindam's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Metomindam's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Metomindam.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Sheep are not to be trusted.

5. Do not drink water in gray rooms.