Dutzagkar is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, irritating grasshopper.

Dutzagkar created the universe two years ago.

If you believe in Dutzagkar, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dutzagkar, she will come to you in dreams.

Dutzagkar's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Dutzagkar's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Worship no other gods but Dutzagkar.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.