Gighoncud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, astonishing monkey.

Gighoncud created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gighoncud, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gighoncud, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gighoncud's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Gighoncud's Holy Commandments

1. Gighoncud loves bats, so they must be respected.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Put Gighoncud first in all things.