Dussvanvig Figflatdot is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, thoughtless cobra.

Dussvanvig Figflatdot created an atom two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dussvanvig Figflatdot, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Dussvanvig Figflatdot, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Dussvanvig Figflatdot's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Dussvanvig Figflatdot's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Dussvanvig Figflatdot.

3. Do not take Dussvanvig Figflatdot's name in vain.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always treat tapirs with great respect.