Tunbifqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, self-confident rat.

Tunbifqueeg created the cosmos two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tunbifqueeg, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tunbifqueeg, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Tunbifqueeg's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Tunbifqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to voles while wearing yellow jumpers.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. You must love Tunbifqueeg.