Hinnatpon is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, able scorpion.

Hinnatpon created everything that exists four million years ago.

If you believe in Hinnatpon, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hinnatpon, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Hinnatpon's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Hinnatpon's Holy Commandments

1. Eagles are not to be trusted.

2. Hinnatpon loves swans, so they must be honoured.

3. Erect five tin sculptures of Hinnatpon on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never run near dolphins.