Vabpasyimpad is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, passionate newt.

Vabpasyimpad created gold nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vabpasyimpad, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vabpasyimpad, he will try to impress you with trees.

Vabpasyimpad's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Vabpasyimpad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair cyan.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Do not shave your feet.