Quamjanvag Bessbaghig is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, humorless centaur.

Quamjanvag Bessbaghig created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamjanvag Bessbaghig, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Quamjanvag Bessbaghig, it will turn you into a snail.

Quamjanvag Bessbaghig's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Quamjanvag Bessbaghig's Holy Commandments

1. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quamjanvag Bessbaghig.

4. Retreat if eight seals approach from the south.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.