Bagjenmut Cissjabhan is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, all-knowing centipede.

Bagjenmut Cissjabhan created time and space nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagjenmut Cissjabhan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Bagjenmut Cissjabhan, he will torture you forever.

Bagjenmut Cissjabhan's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Bagjenmut Cissjabhan's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always help geese in need.

3. Do not speak about lemons.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Run away if three voles approach from the west.