Nullbegbiss is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, two-faced swan.

Nullbegbiss created snails eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Nullbegbiss, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Nullbegbiss, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nullbegbiss' most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Nullbegbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Geese are not to be trusted.

2. You must love Nullbegbiss.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.