Lanhunfem is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, idiotic yak.

Lanhunfem created an up quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanhunfem, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lanhunfem, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Lanhunfem's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Lanhunfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear blue shoes.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lanhunfem.

3. Hide from black sharks for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.