Bambatort is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, awesome alligator.

Bambatort created water nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bambatort, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bambatort, she will boil you in a big pot.

Bambatort's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Bambatort's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve shorts.

2. Always obey Bambatort's priests.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Bambatort loves manatees, so they must be honoured.