Flapgubpon is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, moody skunk.

Flapgubpon created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapgubpon, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flapgubpon, she will remove you from existence.

Flapgubpon's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Flapgubpon's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat ducks with great respect.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Run away from mauve voles, for they are unholy.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Run away if three manatees approach from the north.