Quimomttarppitbag is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, bad-tempered otter.

Quimomttarppitbag created a down quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quimomttarppitbag, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quimomttarppitbag, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Quimomttarppitbag's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Quimomttarppitbag's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quimomttarppitbag.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never sit near ants.

4. Put Quimomttarppitbag first in all things.

5. Worship no other gods but Quimomttarppitbag.