Zenrapfid is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unjust bear.

Zenrapfid created oxygen two years ago.

If you believe in Zenrapfid, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Zenrapfid, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Zenrapfid's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Zenrapfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to turtles while wearing cyan coats.

2. Hide if three pigs approach from the south.

3. Always help sick doves.

4. Zenrapfid must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Put Zenrapfid first in all things.