Capneghad is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, almighty troll.

Capneghad created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Capneghad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Capneghad, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Capneghad's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Capneghad's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Always treat rats with great respect.

4. Do not take Capneghad's name in vain.

5. Do not kill doves.